Obituary of Asha Srivastava

Asha Srivastava Born: May 29, 1946, Luxmisagar, Darbhanga, Bihar, India Died: January 5, 2021, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA Asha was born at her maternal grandparents’ ancestral home in Luxmisagar, Darbhanga, Bihar, India. She was the 3rd child (amongst 7) of Umesh Chandra Prasad, a government officer in the Indian Railways and Mithilesh Devi, a homemaker. Her early childhood was mostly spent in Luxmisagar and other towns and cities in North Bihar where her father was posted. She took care of her younger brothers and sisters (including cousins) from an incredibly young age. This care morphed into almost full guardianship of the younger siblings and their families throughout her lifetime. This unbounded, unlimited, and unconditional love and care would be received by countless many throughout her life. She was excellent in sports and athletics but her greatest talent lay in music. She was the best singer in a family of excellent musicians. It was her singing and enchanting beauty that compelled Nand (Dr. N. K. Srivastava) to fall in love with her instantly. The song “ Aap Ki Nazaron Ne Samjha” completely captivated Nand and the marriage proposal came shortly thereafter. Nand and Asha were married on May 29, 1963 when she was only 17 and Nand was 24. Although Nand had started his medical career in the City Hospital in Gaya, Bihar, he joined the army soon after marrying Asha and they primarily lived in Sikta, Bihar and then Babina, Madhya Pradesh. Their children – Abhinava (Pinku) and Swati (Piky) – were born in 1964 and 1966 respectively during this period. Army life was full of excitement and concern for an army officer’s wife and a young mother. Concern – while Nand was serving in the Indo-China war and Indo-Pakistan war of the sixties and excitement – in entertaining many family members and guests with her delicious cooking and melodic singing. Nand retired from the Indian Army in 1969 and joined T.B. Center in Patna, Bihar. Nand and Asha moved to Patna with their young children. In Patna, Asha completed her Bachelors’ and Masters’ degrees in Sociology. Although higher studies were considered a “hobby” for a homemaker in those days, she did take her studies seriously – frequent detours to cinema halls excepted! In Patna, she was also recognized for her excellent singing and she performed on radio regularly. She also performed with Mrs. Bindyavasini Devi, a famous lok-geet (folk song) singer, in Patna and other major cities. She encouraged and guided her son, Abhinava, to pick up guitar and she encouraged her daughter, Swati to pick up dancing and poetry. Nand moved to U.K. in 1976 to further his medical career and build a better future for his immediate and extended family. Asha and the children joined him in 1977. Thus, began the “Birmingham Era” – which lasted until November 2017 when Nand passed away. In the 40 years of the Birmingham era, Nand and Asha built an unparalleled legacy of selfless love, care, and support to countless many who came and passed through their sphere. Early years in Birmingham were a struggle in terms of missing near and dear ones in India and longing to return. But as Nand and Asha realized that the future of their children was brighter in UK and that they were in a better position financially to help the extended family back home, they embraced the life in UK wholeheartedly. They initiated and co-initiated several social and religious events – like Holi, Diwali, Chitragupta Puja, BMGA (Bihar Medical Graduates Association) annual celebrations. From humble beginnings of a hospital apartment (flat), they progressed to own their first and second houses in Sandwell Valley, West Bromwich and finally their dream home “Nand-Asha” on Newton Rd. in Birmingham in 1985. Many milestone events in Nand’s and Asha’s life happened during this period. Asha attended the birth of her niece Priyanka in 1984 (daughter of her younger sister Chhabi Sinha – who is more like a daughter to Nand and Asha) – this was her first trip to USA and her first trip travelling alone. Nephew Saurabh was born in 1988 (in Birmingham, UK). Daughter Swati was married to Pankaj in 1988, first grandson Shikhar was born in 1989, son Abhinava was married to Vineta (Mittu) in 1991, second grandson Shivam was born in 1993, only granddaughter Pankhuri in 1994 and two more grandsons Shravan (1996) and Shrayum (1999). They also arranged and hosted the visits of both sets of their parents from India during the 80s and 90s. They showered them with all the comforts they could following a lifetime of struggle for them. They were immensely proud of them. Nand and Asha were thrilled to bits to have a surprise Silver (25th) wedding anniversary in 1988 that was organized by Pinku and Piky with the help of their favorite close family members – Dr. Shishir and Renu Sinha; Dr. Ranjan and Kumkum Akhaury and Dr. Desh and Ragini Deepak. Following Nand’s pioneering work in Palliative Care throughout his career in UK, he was awarded MBE (Member of the Order of the British Empire) by Her Majesty The Queen in 2002. This was the proudest occasion for the family and Asha had played an equal role in helping Nand in his achievement. She proudly attended the investiture event at Buckingham Palace with Nand, Abhinava, Vineta and the grandchildren. Swati and Pankaj (in 1999) and Abhinava and Vineta (in 2003) moved to USA. They had showed some reluctance in the move as they did not want to leave the parents in UK but Nand and Asha fully encouraged them to move by giving their own example of having moved from India to UK. Nand and Asha’s life was continuing in 3 countries in 3 continents – UK, India, and USA. In 2006, Nand fell seriously ill while on vacation in India. Asha along with the children, nursed him to a miraculous recovery that made medical history. After this episode, Nand and Asha continued to enjoy their life as parents and grandparents and help many extended family members and friends as far as possible. They also fulfilled their strong sense of religious duties by guiding the renovation of the Geeta Mandir in Birmingham to a World Class place of worship and also built the “Shiv-Saagar Dhaam” temple in Nand’s ancestral village near Muzaffarpur, Bihar. They celebrated their Golden (50th) wedding anniversary in 2013 in Birmingham, UK. July 2015 was their happiest and proudest moment as grandparents - when grandson Shikhar got married to Jordan. This was also the last occasion when the whole family was together before the unfortunate and sudden demise of Nand in November 2017. Before Nand’s demise, they were able to witness another proud moment, when granddaughter Pankhuri was admitted to medical school – following in her Nana’s footsteps. Although Nand’s demise was a huge blow to Asha, she did not outwardly show the loneliness that comes from losing the life partner. She enjoyed life to the full - hopping between Indiana, New Jersey, and her beloved Patna homes. She fought a brave fight against cancer and underwent a successful surgery on 31st October 2020. However, with the unforgiving nature of cancer, she had a recurrence and subsequently survived through many further complications. With everything she went through and perhaps Nand and other loved ones calling her from the skies, she passed away quietly and peacefully with Pankhuri, Pinku, Piky, Pankaj, Saurabh and Mili at her bedside holding her hand. Throughout her life she (along with Nand) helped countless people. She showered the same level of affection, love, and care to anyone who came into her life as she would to her children and grandchildren. She was affectionate to everyone and loved by all. She could talk to and make friends with people of all ages and backgrounds. Once she took to the social media – she was in regular contact with hundreds of people. Her good morning messages and Sai Baba blessings were eagerly awaited by all her contacts. We received many messages asking us as to why they had not received her messages recently. She will be severely missed by many people and will live in the hearts of many more. We feel she is in a good place where she is with Nand and many of her favorite people who left for heavenly abode earlier. Best of all – she is with her Sai Baba and she will be blessing us from above alongside Him. Her legacy will be taken forward by her children and grandchildren.